Hypnotism at the Senior Center;

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center .. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you all into a trance -  I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.' The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

The polished metal gleamed in the light. Claude the hypnotist said: 'I want you each to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.' He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,  'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch... The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light shimmering off its polished surface.

 Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

'SHIT!'

yelled the Hypnotist. 

It took 3 days to clean up the Senior Center.

NOW! Which one are you going to believe?

I hope you had a great Valentines!

The results of a Valentines that went bad!

WELCOME TO WISHLAMP 2010!

www.WISHLAMP.com was created by Bryan R. Jenks of JENKS INDUSTRIES in the effort to help others help others. When It was first created it was on it's own web site and had many people's music and art from all over the world. but one day got hacked into and all that information was lost. Bryan's health is not the best & is is very hard for him to build back what he once had by himself. So he rebuilt what he could piggybacked on many other networks. The sad part about that is... those networks never seem to stay. (MSN, Yahoo 360 and so on. so he keeps building them up... and once that network falls he has to start all over.)

Right now Bryan had a mini stroke in August 2009 and has been off work with out pay ever since. It has been very hard for him these past months. So that is why I'm asking for him... for your help. He needs people who are willing to take up a subject. (Cars, child care, what ever) and just write about it. that's all you have to do... at least once a month. It would make a difference. WISHLAMP also can be found on FaceBook, Multipy, MySpace, Windows Live, & WISHLAMP YAHOO GROUP so if you have one of these as well as another type of blog... you can help by posting on your blog what you would and copy it on the WISHLAMP page as well.

Also anyone who needs help, or can help someone. please feel feel to post your wishes as well in the correct subject. If you just want to sell something... you can do that as well.. but please post in the correct subject. or use our BUY N SELL or  CLASSIFIED ADD links. (Please do not post your sales adds in the wrong subject. this is unfair to all as well as yourself... per no one that you want will be looking for it if it's in the wrong location.)

If you have any questions feel free to contact us as thewishlamp@hotmail.com or jenksindustries@hotmail.com

May your wish come true at www.WISHLAMP.com

This is an E-mail from Mrs. Sarah Grant....

My husband deposited the 7.5 Million Pounds. I'm dying, collect the Funds to finance Charity organizations. reply to:

Sure! What country are they in?

***

Here is from Greenleaf Webmaster...

Confirmation Email Ref No XBL-37-14-29-33)
Reply to Email: euromillioncaimdeparment@switched.com
You have won 1,000.000.00 Euro (One Million Euro), in the Euro millions Email Sweepstakes Program Corporation, held on the 30th of October 2009.In Brussels Belgium We write to officially notify you of this award and to advise you to contact the processing office immediately. For the claim. The same message attached
.
Contact Person: Mr. Connick Van Claes.
Tel: +32472-996-850 or +1132472-996-850
Reply to Email: euromillioncaimdeparment@switched.com
Winning Information's
Reference No XBL-37-14-29-33)
Serial No: Du173858/31527
Ticket No: 28-20-15-19-22
Lucky No: 4-16-17-20-29/*5*7
Batch No: 3-12-30-8-42-10
Your Full Name & Telephone Number.
Note: all winning must be claim not later than 28th of December2009.
Your Sincerely,
Msr.Caroline De Simons
Promotion co-coordinator
CONTACT: Mr. Connick Van Claes

I'm right on it... I better give my bank number right now!

Are you for real? I can't win the lotto in the United State where I purchase the tickets... but some how I win all these lottos in other countries that I have never purchased a ticket for...

Are these freaks for real?

Really: Just send me the cash!

No thanks Dick!

From:	Perez-Garviso, Martha D. (DPM) (Mdperez@miamidade.gov)
	You may not know this sender.Mark as safe Mark as junk
Sent:	Tue 11/24/09 5:46 AM
To:	info@bmw.co.uk

REFERENCE NUMBER:BMW:25515600DS
Serial No:5388/02
Cash on file:
Dear Email owner,
Your email address on REFERENCE NUMBER:BMW:25515600DS has won a total cash prize of
750, 000.00 GBPs (Seven Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British pounds) and other consolation prizes
in Our Computerised Email random selection. Please contact the claims officer for more information
Claims Officer: Lawson White
Claims Requirements:1.full name: 2.Home Address: 3.Age: 4.Sex: 5.Telephone: 6.Occupation:
Email:bmw.claimsdepartment@administrativos.com
Tel: +44 703 595 6312
PATTERSON, Helen
THE PROMOTION COORDINATOR Note:
Send all your details to bmw.claimsdepartment@administrativos.com

 

Not marking this one as safe...

 

Now this one is the Best... Look at the E-mail it is from ...

 

Internet Fraud Watch "Urgent and Legit Notice"‏

From:	Ryan Leik (Leik_Ryan@dwc.edu)
	You may not know this sender.Mark as safe Mark as junk
Sent:	Sat 11/07/09 2:57 PM
To:

 
 
Are you a victim of internet fraud/scam? Have you paid for anything before? Do you want your money back?
Did you received an e-mail, informing you of any sort of Winnings, Offers, Grants or Rewards involving huge amount of money, Would you like to verify if it's real or fake?
 
Contact - internetfraudwatch@iearnbydesign.com
I know of a very reliable, efficient and trustworthy internet fraud investigation agency, who has reputable record in solving internet fraud matters that can help you.
 
Internet Fraud Watch.

Hello people... This E-mail is Fraud! They are asking you to E-mail them! Wake up! 

Wearing White

“On no! Why Me!”
”Why is this happening?” is what I plea

It was a cold winter snowy day
and I would like to add I only drank 3 cups of tea, if I may.

But due to the cold,
my bladder got bold

And as I was sitting there
I started to pee at my chair.

Poor me,
I started to pee,
Wee wee all over me…

What am I thinking?
Tea is all I was drinking?

Am I a freak?
But due to the cold… I did a leak.

You think that was bad enough
the story get even more rough,

It really does bite
per I was wearing white.

And I was not going straight home
for there were places I had to roam,

And the worse of the height
is I had to be out: “All Night!”

Yum, yum, yum,
the food is great! I want some!

Oh, That dish look neat!
I really want to eat!

Later on my stomach makes a grumble,
then I feel it… I feel like I just was in a rumble…

“Oh No!” … “I really got to go!”
Where is the rest room? I’m about to blow!

I’m walking very fast…
Oops! That was more then just gas!

I’m such a sap!
My pants is pull of crap!

It was the runs
it is between my buns

I smell like a rotten egg
and it dripping down my leg.

You think that was bad enough
the story get even more rough,

It really does bite
per I was wearing white.

And I was not going straight home
for there were places I had to roam,

And the worse of the height
is I had to be out: “All Night!”

It is a great day to go to the far,
all my Family & friends are there.

There is so much to do

Play with & pet the animals that go moo.

Eat all the types of far food,
really puts me in a great mood.

Then when I see the rides all around
My heart start bounding and I’m astound!

I was on the roller coaster last
that made my stomach feel upset fast.

Before that: I was on the Tea-Cup
while on the roller coaster I threw up!

Barf flying everywhere
in my face and in my hair.

I felt so dumb
I look like scum

Hotdog puke on my shoulder
first came out hot… now getting colder

I need this ride to stop!
But we are at the very top.

Down we go for another time
Up comes more barf slime.

Wee for another turn..
Wait! My stomach can’t handle it! … It will burn!

Sure enough it did.

Stomach acid.

Now I feel like I’m going to die.
But; that is just part of the ride. I’ll get by.

You think that was bad enough
the story get even more rough,

It really does bite
per I was wearing white.

And I was not going straight home
for there were places I had to roam,

And the worse of the height
is I had to be out: “All Night!”

I’m so excited to have this date;
I’m going to stay up late.

This is the day I dreamed of my whole life
He would be come my dream husband, & I his wife.

But I wish I was home instead
and this whole thing happened while I was in bed.

But while I was out: The thing I most dread,
from my pants I was dripping red!

Drip drop
the flow is a lot!
It gave a perfect bulls-eye spot.

There goes my dream!
I could scream!

But he lends me his coat.
and says… “I didn’t show you my boat”
lets take it for a float.

You think that was bad enough
the story isn’t that rough,

It really doesn’t bite
Yes I was wearing white.

And I didn’t go straight home
for there were places I had to roam,

But I found that he was the man of my dreams
and life isn’t always perfect – it seems.

But I found happiness in with in the Dark & the light
so it is worth staying out: “All Night!”

 This poe’m written by Bryan R. Jenks of www.WISHLAMP.com (This poe’m can’t be copied with Bryan’s name & web site link included.) 

This one says it is from HOTMAIL... Look at the E-mail address that is sending it to me...

Hotmail Account Alert !!!‏

From:	Windows Live Team (susanmar7@hotmail.com)
	You may not know this sender.Mark as safe Mark as junk
Sent:	Mon 11/16/09 8:19 AM
To:	customer_alertcenter09@hotmail.com

Dear Account Owner

This Email is from Hotmail Customer Care and we are sending it to every Hotmail Email User Accounts Owner for safety. we are having congestions due to the anonymous registration of Hotmail accounts so we are shutting down some Hotmail accounts and your account was among those to be deleted. We are sending this email to you so that you can verify and let us know if you still want to use this account. If you are still interested please confirm your account by filling the space below.Your User name, password, date of birth and your country information would be needed to verify your account.

Confirm your E-mail by filling out your Login Information below after clicking the reply button, or your account will be suspended within 48 hours for security reasons.

* Username: .............................
* Password: ................................
* Date of Birth: ............................
* Country Or Territory: ................

Sincerely,

 

( I don't think so! ... )

 

Here is another one...

 

Warning!!!Hotmail Account Alert‏

From:	Windows Live Hotmail® Team (madarlina@hotmail.com)
	You may not know this sender.Mark as safe Mark as junk
Sent:	Tue 10/20/09 12:57 AM
To:	commuincation@microsoft.ac.user.com

 

Windows Live Hotmail Alert!!!

CONFIRM YOUR WINDOWS LIVE ACCOUNT SERVICES. VERIFY YOUR HOTMAIL ACCOUNT NOW TO AVOID IT CLOSED !!!

 

Dear Account Owner

 

This is email from Windows Live Hotmail® and we are sending it to you account user for your safety. Due to the anonymous registration of our account which is causing congestion to our service, so we are shutting down some account and your account was amoung those to be deleted,so the purpose of this email is for you to verify that you are the owner of this account and you are still using it by filling the information below after clicking on the reply button:

* Username: ...............................

* Password: ................................

* Date of Birth: ............................

* Country Or Territory: ................

After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. Thanks for your attention to this request. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his/her account after 48 hours of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.

 

Sincerely,

The Windows Live Hotmail Team

 

Hotmail Account Alert !!!‏

From:	Windows Live Team (cdebendicion@hotmail.com)
	You may not know this sender.Mark as safe Mark as junk
Sent:	Fri 8/14/09 2:36 AM
To:	Windows Live Team (cdebendicion@hotmail.com)

Dear Account User

This Email is from Hotmail Customer Care and we are sending it to every Hotmail Email User Accounts Owner for safety. we are having congestions due to the anonymous registration of Hotmail accounts so we are shutting down some Hotmail accounts and your account was among those to be deleted. 

 

You will have to confirm your E-mail by filling out your Login Information below after clicking the reply button, or your account will be suspended within 24 hours for security reasons.

* Username: .............................
* Password: ................................
* Date of Birth: ............................
* Country Or Territory: ................

After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. Thanks for your attention to this request. We apologize for any inconveniences.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his/her account after two weeks of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.

Sincerely,
The Windows Live Hotmail Team

 

.... They do not give up do they? ... Is the best gift for them this Holiday Season...  Or just death! What goes around... Comes around. You fraud people and when you die... you will be seeing !

 

Women are like angels & are made to fly...

Till some man brakes their wings

.....

Then they fly using a broomstick!

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,

' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' ME . '

(Sent to me by Rev Handy)